Teenage Love Affair Read online

  “But your asses is too grown. Now I want to see the homework, make sure it’s right, and then you can do what you want until dinner is done. And you may not know this but Minnie can burn.”

  “My mother cooks dinner and leaves it for us,” I said.

  “Shut up, Zero! You ’spose to eat a hot dinner, not no cold stuff. I got this, and when ya mama get home I’ma handle her too, believe me. Shake is here now and things around here gon’ change.” He started doing the crip walk. “Shake—shake—shake is home. Yeah, baby! Now do that dang homework.”

  We sat down at the dining room table and I said to Hadiah, “Just roll with it. Seven and Toi said the way to survive Cousin Shake is to just act as if you are listening to him.”

  “I’m scared straight,” Hadiah said. “I don’t know what I did, but I won’t be doing it again.”

  Within the hour we finished our homework and afterward Ms. Minnie dressed the table with roast beef, gravy, rice, collards, fried apples, and biscuits. I felt like I was at Homestyle Buffet. “Dang, Ms. Minnie.” I smiled. “This smells delicious.”

  “Thank you, baby. That’s how Ms. Minnie hooked your cousin Shake.”

  “And you know you got me sprung.” Cousin Shake laughed.

  Just when I am almost able to tolerate these two they paint me a disturbing visual.

  “You ain’t the only one sprung, honey.” Ms. Minnie laughed.

  Is it me or did the visual just get worse?

  Cousin Shake said grace and we all sat down to eat. “So what happened to your eye, Zinzalay?” Cousin Shake asked.

  “It’s Zsa-Zsa, Cousin Shake,” I said

  “That’s what I said. Now what happened to it?”

  “Shake, leave the child alone,” Ms. Minnie said.

  “I’m just asking.”

  “I walked into the door at school,” I said, eating my food.

  “You said pink eye this morning,” Hadiah whispered.

  “Would you shut up?” I whispered back.

  “What y’all think we can’t hear?” Cousin Shake said. “I just asked a question which apparently the truth is allergic to. All I got to say, Zimbabwe, is don’t let me have to hurt nobody ’cause you being a dumb-dumb and got somebody puttin’ his hands on you. It’s no secret what your mother went through.”

  “I am not like my mother!” I snapped.

  “For your best interest you might wanna bring your tone down,” Cousin Shake warned.

  “Can we talk about something else?”

  “Sure,” Cousin Shake said, “tell Cousin Shake some of the things y’all like to do around here. You play the lotto?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Cousin Shake and Ms. Minnie carried on and eventually what I started to realize is that they weren’t that bad. They were actually quite funny, at least until they started saying they were going to come out to my school and volunteer.

  After we finished dinner, my mother walked in the front door. I looked at the clock and she was surprisingly early, and then I looked back at her and noticed that she was dressed in a cocktail dress and heels. “Where are you coming from?” Cousin Shake asked.

  “A date.” She smiled.

  “You had today off?” he asked her.

  “Yes.”

  “And you didn’t think to come home and spend time with these kids?” He frowned. “Oh, hell, nawl.” He picked up his bottle of blessing oil. “When you have days off,” he lashed her, “you come home and spend time with these children, you hear me?! Here I am bustin’ out crazy on them and they’re acting like this because of you.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Cousin Shake.” I rolled my eyes as me and Hadiah rose from our seats. “It doesn’t even matter anymore. That’s how we roll around here. We each do our own thing.”

  I’d had enough for one day. I went to my room and went to bed. I didn’t want to think and I didn’t want to dream. I just wanted to be still. That’s it, simply be still.

  7

  It ain’t where he’s at it’s where he wanna be…

  —KEYSHIA COLE, “LET IT GO”

  My life was dead. For real, no lie. And I was trying to reincarnate myself by attempting to get in where I fit in all day…every day. Mainly because I couldn’t remember what life was like before Ameen, the chick he’d cheated on me with, and our breakup came along. My life had been so entrenched in Ameen and the drama he brought that I couldn’t remember what I thought was fun and what I liked to do. That’s when I realized that everything was about Ameen and nothing was about me. Nothing.

  I sat Indian style in the center of my bed with my hair falling over my shoulders wondering what seventeen-year-olds did on Saturdays. I swear I didn’t know. Just as I thought that maybe they withered and died after they broke up with their boyfriends my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was Asha.

  “You rang?” I answered.

  “Hey, girl,” she said, a little too damn chipper. “What you doing today?”

  Is that a trick question? “I’m waiting for my helicopter to come so I can take a spin around Newark.”

  “And what? Bust some more windows out?” She laughed. “You ever hear from Ameen about that?”

  “No.” I sucked my teeth. “He probably bought the girl a new car, since I busted the old one.”

  “Oh, please, I doubt if he was ballin’ like that.”

  “He was ballin’ alright.” I shook my head in agony thinking of how much cash Ameen was probably spending on this broad. “You know what, Asha?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Me and Ameen breaking up wouldn’t be so hard to accept if I could stay focused on the wrong he did to me instead of imagining that he and this chick were having the time of their lives, not even thinking about me.”

  “Zsa, believe me, sooner than later that chick will see Ameen for the monster that he is. So stop sweatin’ it. Plus you got Malachi wanting you and that mothersucker is ca’yute!”

  “Gurl, please, I’m so cold on him, it’s a shame.”

  “Why?”

  “We had an argument the other day at school in the hallway. I was trying to apologize for what jumped off with he and Ameen and he played me.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Just a buncha rah-rah.”

  “Oh…kay…whatever that means.”

  I knew I was being evasive, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her what he really said to me. “Anyway”—I chuckled—“things have certainly changed since we were twelve and you thought he was the ugliest dude you’d ever saw.”

  Asha laughed. “Well, he outgrew his ugliness. So anyway, don’t try and change the subject, you need to talk to him so y’all can hook up.”

  “Earth to Asha, let me remind you he has a girl.”

  “Staci does not count.”

  “Oh, you wrong for that.” I chuckled.

  “And anyway, Samaad told me that Malachi broke up with her so the runway is clear, homie. Now what’s the deal—you goin’ for broke or what?”

  “Hell, no, didn’t you hear me the first time? I don’t want Malachi. I’m sooo not beat.”

  “You trippin’. Anyway, me and my baby are going to the movies and I want you to come.”

  “Ill, I am not about to be a desperate third wheel.”

  “Don’t even play me like that. You know it would be fun.”

  “I’m sure, but no.”

  “Call Courtney and y’all meet us at Lowes in Mountain-side.”

  “No, Asha.”

  “Girl, all I know is that you better be there by one.” And she hung up before I could protest.

  I laid back on my bed, and that’s when I could’ve sworn that I heard Hadiah say, “Cousin Shake, this is how you do the Halle Berry.”

  I had to see this, so I eased out of my bed, cracked my room door open, looked out into the living room, and oh…my…Ba’Jesus, Cousin Shake looked as if he was having a seizure. This was too much; now I knew for sure I had to leave. Hadiah seemed to be enj
oying the freakish company we had but personally, other than the good food Ms. Minnie cooked, I could’ve done without them.

  I called Courtney and he answered, “Two snaps up and a fruit loop.”

  “What you doing?” I asked him.

  “Wondering if I’m the only one who hears an alarm when Puffy comes on TV.”

  “What alarm?” I asked, confused.

  “The ‘how you doin’ one,” he said, popping a piece of gum in my ear, and all I could imagine was him flinging his wrist.

  “Look, I didn’t call you for an analysis on Puffy.”

  “Ill, Diva, what did Puffy do to you?”

  “I just don’t care if he’s sliding off or not.”

  “How do you know he’s the one sliding off?”

  “Okay.” I laughed—I had to, otherwise I would’ve screamed. “I’m coming to get you so we can go to the movies.”

  “You might wanna ask me,” Courtney snapped. “I do have a life, thank you.” He blew a bubble in my ear and popped it. “I’m tired of you and Asha taking me for granted.”

  I sighed. He was too temperamental. “Courtney, do you want to go to the movies?”

  “Yeah, Diva, God knows I need something to do.”

  “Alright, I’ll see you in a few.” I hung up the phone, showered, and dressed in a fitted pair of Juicy Couture jeans, a pink tee with Juicy written in rhinestones across the breasts, a midriff denim jacket, and a pair of pink, sheepskin-trimmed Uggs. I looked at my face in the mirror. The bruises and swelling had disappeared, so I was able to rock my makeup the way it was supposed to be. I decided to wear my hair straight and falling to the small of my back. By the time I stepped out of my room I was too cute for words. The only problem was convincing myself to feel that way.

  When I arrived at Courtney’s I blew the horn for him to come out and oh…my…God…what a damn sight. Why was everything this fool have on neon yellow? Neon yellow skinny leg jeans, neon yellow button down ruffle shirt, and a neon yellow boa. Hold it, wait a minute, were those three-inch boots sparkling? Yes. They were. I looked at him as he approached the car. “There’s a warrant out for your arrest.” I leaned out the window.

  “What?” he said, shocked.

  “Yeah, the You-Look-a-Hot-Mess police are on their way.”

  Courtney twisted his lips, “Whatever, hater. You know you like this.” He threw his boa to the back of his shoulders, placed his hands on his hips, and proceeded to get his top model on in front of the car. “The shirt is Gap,” he said as his heels clicked, “the pants are Banana Republic, the shoes are Chanel, and the boa is my own creation.”

  “Courtney”—I paused—“let’s just go.”

  Courtney got in the car and smiled. “It’s so refreshing to be me.”

  When we arrived at the movies Samaad and Asha were in the lobby waiting for us. Courtney and I walked over to them, and I swear I was getting sick at how they were all over one another. Samaad was standing behind Asha with his fingers locked around her waist, kissing her on the side of her neck, as her head lay against his chest.

  “Maybe you two should’ve opted for a short stay,” I snapped. “And got the movie on bootleg.”

  “I thought we talked about all of this hatin’, Diva,” Courtney said. “I have love issues too. But don’t hate, celebrate.”

  “Thank you, Courtney.” Asha smiled.

  “Anyway.” I chuckled at the fact that my friends had called me on the carpet. “What are we going to see?” I asked.

  “What do you want to see?” I felt the soft tip of a finger slide down the nape of my neck. “You wanna see me?” My heart jumped. I knew from the voice and the heated touch on my neck that it was Malachi. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer to keep my blushing at bay and my heart from thundering out of my chest.

  “Where is your girl?” I snapped. “Shouldn’t you be kicking it with her?”

  Malachi looked me dead in the eyes. “I’m trying to get with you, and another girl is your concern? Interesting.”

  “Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say, and that’s when it occurred to me that had to be a setup. “Is this a setup? I hope not ’cause if so I’ma be pissed.”

  “That attitude is not attractive.” Asha looked at me and mumbled.

  “Let me hollah at you for a second,” Malachi said to me as he grabbed my hand and gently pulled me to the side before I could object. “Listen, I’m real sorry about what I said to you the other day.”

  I hated that my eyes roamed his body, but the bulging vein on the side of his neck made the tattoo of his name rise. He wore a pair of blue and baggy Ecko jeans, a navy blue hoody with I AM THE AMERICAN DREAM written across it, a blue bubble vest, and a pair of black Tims. His dreads hung loose over his shoulders, and I swear he was too fine for it not to be illegal. I bit the corner of my lip and sighed. “Malachi, I can’t deal with that right now. I’m confused enough as it is and you’re making it worse.”

  “But you won’t even talk to me. What is going on with you? I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”

  “You don’t,” I snapped. “I’m not twelve and I’m not looking for you to save me, okay?”

  “What did I do to you, Zsa?” He lifted my chin. “You treat me like trash, for real. I mean, you were happy to see me the first day we saw each other again, but ever since then you’ve been treating me like I stole your bike. Keep it funky. What’s really good with you, ma?”

  “Why are you so interested in that?” poured over my shoulder, and when Malachi turned around and I looked up, it was Staci speaking.

  I was beyond pissed, and you know what, I’d had it, especially since I thought Asha said he broke up with this chick, yet here she was all in my business. “Look, deal with your girl,” I said to Malachi, “because I’m tired of every time I turn around she’s popping up like a weed. Let me know when you get a moment and then I can tell you why I don’t like to deal with you. Until then, I have a movie to watch.” And I left them standing there. I could hear Malachi asking Staci what she was doing there as I walked away.

  “Hold up, Diva!” Courtney yelled behind me. “Because I’ma ’bout sick of all of this lovie dovie mess too.”

  I turned to him as he caught up with me. “I thought you said not to hate.”

  “I’m not hatin’, I’m just statin’.”

  No matter what, Courtney always had a way of making me laugh. We bought popcorn, and afterward we walked into the theater and took a seat in the back. I could hear a few moans and groans coming from the balcony but I figured it was some young couple kissing so I didn’t turn around, especially since I’d had enough of all of these people and their happy relationships.

  Once we were settled into our seats Asha and Samaad came and sat next to us. And of course as hell would have it, Malachi and Staci sat directly behind us. I swear I wanted to slap both of them. I could hear Staci whispering to Malachi, “Why do we have to sit here?”

  Malachi sighed and then whispered, “Staci, you invited yourself. I told you we were taking a break and you’re not giving me any space.”

  “So what is that supposed to mean, Malachi?” she asked.

  “It means you can sit anywhere you want, but I’m not moving.”

  I could hear the disappointment and pissivity in Staci’s sigh. A few minutes later she said, “I’m going to get me some M&M’s.”

  Courtney turned around, “Can you get some Jujubes and some Lemonheads too?” Then he shoved ten dollars into her hand and looked at everyone else in the row. “Anybody else want anything?” Everyone shook their heads no. “Yes, y’all do. Asha, you want some Swedish Fish? You know we houses us some Swedish Fish and purple slushi. Here.” He handed Staci another ten dollar bill. “Bring her back some fish, oh, and some Sno-Caps. And that purple slushi.”

  Staci stood there and twisted her lips.

  “What’s taking you so long?” Courtney batted his eyes. “The movie is about to come on.”

  Staci sucked
her teeth as she walked away.

  “Samaad,” Malachi said from behind me, “when the movie is over I need to kick it with you for a few.”

  “Ai’ight.” Samaad draped his arm around Asha. A few minutes later there was more moaning and groaning coming from the balcony. “You better stop doing that, you know I’m ticklish.”

  I swear that sounded like Cousin Shake. Dear God…please…I’ve been embarrassed enough by them.

  I looked at Asha. “That wasn’t me,” she said.

  “Dang,” Samaad said, “who are those two old freaks?”

  We all turned around and I almost died. It was Cousin Shake and Ms. Minnie, eating the same Twizzler from opposite ends and once their lips met they started kissing. I couldn’t believe this. Once they stopped kissing Cousin Shake looked directly at me. I turned around quickly and prayed he didn’t recognize me.

  “Zimbabwe!”

  I froze. Oh, no.

  “Zimbabwe, is that you?”

  I turned back around and attempted to wave on the sly.

  “Who is Zimbabwe?” Courtney asked with a mouth full of candy and fruity slob coming out the sides of his mouth.

  “Long story,” I said, “but that’s my cousin Shake and his wife, Ms. Minnie.”

  “Damn,” Malachi said, while massaging the nape of my neck, “must be nice to be in love like that.”

  My heart fluttered as Malachi ran his hands through my hair and when I felt myself melting, I snapped back to reality and said, “Would you stop?”

  “You really want me to stop?” he asked.

  “No, she doesn’t, but I do.” We turned around and Staci was standing there with an arm filled with candy.

  I swear I couldn’t stand looking at her. “I have to go to the bathroom.” I rose from my seat and stormed out of the theater. I just wanted to scream. All I needed was one good day to get me on the right track, but instead drama was unfolding every waking minute.

  I walked into the bathroom and for some reason I felt weird as I entered the stalls. But I had enough nonsense going on that week to last me a lifetime and I desperately wanted to pay no mind to the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Needless to say I chopped it up to nerves.